Over the past several days it seems that I have had the same conversation over and over again. It is the same conversation that I have been having with myself for the past two years. The conversation is one of acceptance, acceptance of self and of the present conditions of life. In this age where self-healing is au courant, the need to self perfect can easily become the new drug of choice. This is especially true for those of us who seem to have been born with an innate drive to reach toward the mountain. For those born with that inclination, the drive toward self purification, self discipline and ultimately self denial can become a process of flesh scouring brutality. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and then berate ourselves when we fail to meet them. We seek peace, and then judge ourselves for not having already achieved it. We readily forgive those around us, but fail to provide ourselves with the same grace. We often treat ourselves far worse than we would ever treat anyone else. Learning to be gentle with ourselves, to be kind and loving to the person that we see in the mirror can, at times, appear to be an unattainable goal. I can’t tell you the number of times that I have told myself that reaching some amorphous inner goal will set my life to rights. That moving through some specified transition will finally land me on solid ground. When in fact the truth may be that my life, my inner journey, is simply symbolic of the larger transition that the whole of humanity is spiraling through; that my movement toward some unnamed end point is simply the reality of my life experience. In my imaginary perfected world, I would instinctively know what to do, what to say and how to think about every situation that arises. Perhaps there are those who actually inhabit that world. But, in the world that I currently inhabit, the reality is that I am still learning with each new experience. Thus, the challenge is not to perfect myself but to accept that this process, this transitory, shifting experience of imperfection is exactly what is meant for me. And, in the midst of this unfolding process, perhaps the greatest gift that I can offer myself is to choose to believe that my best is actually good enough.
A Blessing For The Human Heart
From Nadia Bolz-Weber
Fellow human,
Let’s just agree that our hearts are such messy, complicated things, and that clichés and greeting card sentiments don’t even get close to the actual reality of them.
So, the most honest blessing I can offer is, may you find yourself surprised by your very own heart.
May you sense it hurting for people you don’t even like very much.
May you feel it loving something entirely unlikely.
And when your heart is full, may you not miss it all by wondering when it will break again
May you welcome it home when it has gone off and given pieces of itself to that which can never love it back.
May it reintroduce itself to you.
And may you discover it is healing from the things you used to think would destroy it.
AMEN.
Warriors
Friendship
From poet David Whyte’s book Consolations, a short essay on friendship.
Friendship is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die.
Where do we go from here?
“The same thinking that created a problem cannot solve the problem.”\
Einstein
Who is me?
These days, a question we are seemingly supposed to ask ourselves is Who am I?
Maybe a better question is Who is me?
Think about it.
Who are you…
“Can you remember who you were,
before the world told you who
you should be.”
–Charles Bukowski
From the sports world
Recently a Miami Heat basketball player was heard to use an anti-Semitic word while playing a live stream online game.
Julian Edelman of the New England Patriots responded by reaching out to the player. Here’s an excerpt from a story on SI.com
“Edelman has reached out to athletes in similar situations before. Last summer, following NFL wide receiver DeSean Jackson sharing antisemitic messages on social media, Edelman addressed Jackson’s posts and said that “I’m proud of my Jewish heritage and, for me, it’s not just about religion. It’s about community and culture as well. This world needs a little more love, compassion, and empathy.”
Philo Thoughts
There’s an excellent Facebook page called Philo Thoughts. – Here’s one of the recent posts.
“Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, which is the only fact we have. It seems to me that one ought to rejoice in the fact of death—ought to decide, indeed, to earn one’s death by confronting with passion the conundrum of life. One is responsible to life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return. One must negotiate this passage as nobly as possible, for the sake of those who are coming after us.” ~James Baldwin (Book: The Fire Next Time)
Wisdom
Wisdom is knowledge gained from experience. The commodification of knowledge as something that only those who can afford access to it can obtain it’s supposed benefit is… well…you know…shitty. Anything that fosters inequality is shitty.