Sherri Mitchell Weh’na Ha’mu Kwasset

Over the past several days it seems that I have had the same conversation over and over again. It is the same conversation that I have been having with myself for the past two years. The conversation is one of acceptance, acceptance of self and of the present conditions of life. In this age where self-healing is au courant, the need to self perfect can easily become the new drug of choice. This is especially true for those of us who seem to have been born with an innate drive to reach toward the mountain. For those born with that inclination, the drive toward self purification, self discipline and ultimately self denial can become a process of flesh scouring brutality. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and then berate ourselves when we fail to meet them. We seek peace, and then judge ourselves for not having already achieved it. We readily forgive those around us, but fail to provide ourselves with the same grace. We often treat ourselves far worse than we would ever treat anyone else. Learning to be gentle with ourselves, to be kind and loving to the person that we see in the mirror can, at times, appear to be an unattainable goal. I can’t tell you the number of times that I have told myself that reaching some amorphous inner goal will set my life to rights. That moving through some specified transition will finally land me on solid ground. When in fact the truth may be that my life, my inner journey, is simply symbolic of the larger transition that the whole of humanity is spiraling through; that my movement toward some unnamed end point is simply the reality of my life experience. In my imaginary perfected world, I would instinctively know what to do, what to say and how to think about every situation that arises. Perhaps there are those who actually inhabit that world. But, in the world that I currently inhabit, the reality is that I am still learning with each new experience. Thus, the challenge is not to perfect myself but to accept that this process, this transitory, shifting experience of imperfection is exactly what is meant for me. And, in the midst of this unfolding process, perhaps the greatest gift that I can offer myself is to choose to believe that my best is actually good enough.